I moved from California back to Oregon on October 21, 2011. Four days later I turned eighteen. Now to most kids eighteen is the magic number. FREEDOM! That's what my little brother liked to call it. When I came home things were even stricter than ever. No computer privileges, no phone privileges, I couldn't go anywhere except church, bible study, and dance. Things needed to change. I sat down with my parents and let them know that I wanted to work things out but with the rules that they had placed it was not working. If I didn't have some privileges then I was going to move out.
My dad dropped me off at dance. But instead of dancing I decided to walk to the coffee shop. I ran into a friend and he invited me over to his friends house where he was spending the night. I was originally planning on moving out the next day, but I figured why not tonight? So I went with them. I had nothing. No clothes, no personal items, nowhere to stay after that night. I had never touched pot before that night. As I walked into his house I was immediately contact high.
The next morning I was returned to the coffee shop. In walked my last ex-boyfriend. We had never really broken up. My parents broke us up when they sent me away. He was explained my situation and said that I could live with him. He lived in a bachelor pad with two other guys. The first day there I told him that I wanted to try alcohol. It was my first time drinking and getting drunk. When the other guys came home they all taught me how to take hits off of a bong. Drinking and getting high was the new daily routine.
A couple weeks later I got a job at a little cafe. Because it was part time there were no drug tests. So continued drinking and smoking whenever I wasn't working. I started smoking cigarettes when I needed something to replace pot while I was at work.
My ex-boyfriend and I didn't get back together. When I came home he already had another girlfriend. After spending all of my time with both of them we all moved in together. After a night of drinking the other girl gave me a letter confessing she was in love with me. I agreed to date her and we created a menage a trois. After time, drinking, and the creation of a three way porn video things just didn't work out. There was too much drama with jealousy issues and out I dropped of the menage a trois. Shortly after the other two were engaged, but she ended up braking it off. As a side note I am happy to say we are still friends and she has a wonderful boyfriend that treats her right.
I moved in with my ex-girlfriends aunt and started dating her cousin. I soon found out I was pregnant, but because of the way I was living before I did not know who was the baby daddy. After my boyfriend abused me and kept kicking me out leaving me to sleep on the streets I broke up with him.
When I moved back to Oregon the first person I contacted was my best friend, Kyle. He was there for me through everything. So when I started getting abused we began to hang out more and more. He hated where I was living and wanted to save me from it all. I told him plenty how much I loved him and he finally confessed that he was also in love with me. He told me that he didn't want to go anywhere with a relationship though because of the way I was living and partying. When I found out that I was pregnant I immediately stopped drinking and smoking pot. I had a life to take care of and was going to be responsible for the way my baby came out physically and mentally. After Kyle saw that I cleaned up my life he was very torn between dating me or just staying best friends because of my pregnancy. In the end though he picked a relationship. Our relationship started at the beginning of January 2012 and made it public on Valentines Day. Between those dates I was able to find a new place to live with a couple who's kids had all moved out and were either married or engaged. On March 16, 2012 he proposed and of course I said yes. I was getting married!!!!!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Boarding School Pictures
Pets
Cafeteria
Privileges For Each Level
Dorm Room
Thanksgiving (I am all the way on the right)
What we did for fun. Staff hit a turkey.
Winter
Dorm
Track
Pond
Boarding School
It was July 27, 2009 when I arrived at the boarding school. I was okay with being sent away. I was just happy to be out of my house and away from my parents. I just wasn't expecting to be sent to a place like this.
On the way there I asked my escorts where we were going. California! This was going to be great. Beaches, big cities, warm weather. I was so ready to get out of green, cold Oregon. When I got out of the car I was very disappointed. There were no outdoor shopping malls, no beaches, no nothing. Just trees, dirt, and log cabins. It looked like a ski resort.
I was introduced to my buddy who would make sure that I learned all of the rules and got comfortable with them for the next few months. I thought that my parents rules were bad and that there were too many of them. This place had rules about everything it felt like. I had to put on a uniform and then it was off to meet all of the other girls.
First rule, no talking for your first three days there. No talking? That was fine with me. I was used to not talking. Before I got there I was a depressed quiet girl who spent all of her time sitting in the corners just watching life go on before me. At home all of my talking was done online or through text. It was the most amazing feeling after my third day there though to have dozens of girls run up to me and ask me all about myself. I felt like people actually cared about me and wanted to know who I was. Little did I know that I would be doing the same every time another new girl showed up.
On my fifteenth birthday my biological parents called me for the first time. They gave me their mailing address and we stayed in contact. My favorite sibling to write was my older sister Virginia. I had three siblings now. My older sister, and a younger sister and brother. About half way through my first day of being able to talk I was called to the office. When I got there I was handed the phone. My adopted mom was on the other end. All the excitement of the day was gone. My little brother had called my mom to ask her to please let me know that my older sister had committed suicide. I returned to the dorms and curled up on my bed. I didn't want to be asked anymore questions. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Unfortunately I didn't have a choice.
I learned to be happy at the school and I opened up a lot while I was there. They became my family and my closest friends. Yes I had my bad days and us girls had our fights but we always managed to make up. Everyone loved everyone else. Cliques didn't stay cliques for long. After a couple days there would be a different clique with a new obsession. Bracelet making, drawing, hat making, putting on Justine Bieber concerts in the dorm, whatever it was that we could find to entertain ourselves.
It was very routine there. Breakfast, school, lunch, school, p.e., showers, dinner, movie, bed. We learned to learn, love, and live with our routine. The best days were when we were surprised with a day off campus where we would go to In 'N' Out, or the movies, or the lake.
There were levels from level A to K. Then it went K1, L, L1-L4. on L4 the girls got to graduate the program. I never graduated. On my eighteenth birthday I made the choice to come home. It was a very difficult decision for me to make and an even harder one to tell them that I was making. I didn't want to leave all of the girls and the staff, but I was ready to get back into the "real world." On October 21, 2011, four days before my birthday my parents showed up to take me home. I didn't get to say goodbye to any of the girls. I was taken to the dorms where I packed up what little I had and said goodbye to the staff that were there in the office. Fifteen months! That's how long I was there for. I took in every tree, bush, blade of grass, rock, whatever we passed as we drove down the mountain. I was sad to be leaving, but excited for what the future held. I never thought I'd return and I wondered if I would ever see these girls again.
On the way there I asked my escorts where we were going. California! This was going to be great. Beaches, big cities, warm weather. I was so ready to get out of green, cold Oregon. When I got out of the car I was very disappointed. There were no outdoor shopping malls, no beaches, no nothing. Just trees, dirt, and log cabins. It looked like a ski resort.
I was introduced to my buddy who would make sure that I learned all of the rules and got comfortable with them for the next few months. I thought that my parents rules were bad and that there were too many of them. This place had rules about everything it felt like. I had to put on a uniform and then it was off to meet all of the other girls.
First rule, no talking for your first three days there. No talking? That was fine with me. I was used to not talking. Before I got there I was a depressed quiet girl who spent all of her time sitting in the corners just watching life go on before me. At home all of my talking was done online or through text. It was the most amazing feeling after my third day there though to have dozens of girls run up to me and ask me all about myself. I felt like people actually cared about me and wanted to know who I was. Little did I know that I would be doing the same every time another new girl showed up.
On my fifteenth birthday my biological parents called me for the first time. They gave me their mailing address and we stayed in contact. My favorite sibling to write was my older sister Virginia. I had three siblings now. My older sister, and a younger sister and brother. About half way through my first day of being able to talk I was called to the office. When I got there I was handed the phone. My adopted mom was on the other end. All the excitement of the day was gone. My little brother had called my mom to ask her to please let me know that my older sister had committed suicide. I returned to the dorms and curled up on my bed. I didn't want to be asked anymore questions. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Unfortunately I didn't have a choice.
I learned to be happy at the school and I opened up a lot while I was there. They became my family and my closest friends. Yes I had my bad days and us girls had our fights but we always managed to make up. Everyone loved everyone else. Cliques didn't stay cliques for long. After a couple days there would be a different clique with a new obsession. Bracelet making, drawing, hat making, putting on Justine Bieber concerts in the dorm, whatever it was that we could find to entertain ourselves.
It was very routine there. Breakfast, school, lunch, school, p.e., showers, dinner, movie, bed. We learned to learn, love, and live with our routine. The best days were when we were surprised with a day off campus where we would go to In 'N' Out, or the movies, or the lake.
There were levels from level A to K. Then it went K1, L, L1-L4. on L4 the girls got to graduate the program. I never graduated. On my eighteenth birthday I made the choice to come home. It was a very difficult decision for me to make and an even harder one to tell them that I was making. I didn't want to leave all of the girls and the staff, but I was ready to get back into the "real world." On October 21, 2011, four days before my birthday my parents showed up to take me home. I didn't get to say goodbye to any of the girls. I was taken to the dorms where I packed up what little I had and said goodbye to the staff that were there in the office. Fifteen months! That's how long I was there for. I took in every tree, bush, blade of grass, rock, whatever we passed as we drove down the mountain. I was sad to be leaving, but excited for what the future held. I never thought I'd return and I wondered if I would ever see these girls again.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
http://pinterest.com/tigeroliv/
Birthday
Baby
Tattoo
Mystical
Nail
Corsets/Lingerie
Fashion
Wedding
Hair
Maternity
Cats
Jewelry
Makeup
Home Decor
My past
I never thought that I would be considered a "Teen Mom." That title was for girls 16 and under. That kind of thinking all changed when I was watching MTV and Teen Mom came on. My husband walked up to me and pointed out that I could be on that show. Me???? On Teen Mom? But I'm too old! I mean I'm 18! I was 18 when I got pregnant and 18 when I had my daughter. But then it hit me. I was still a teenager even if I wasn't the youngest one to have a child.
This blog is my past, my present, and my future. My struggles and successes. My husband, children, and family. If my stories end part way through them then don't worry, I will come back to them.
My biological mom was definitely what I call a teen mom. She got pregnant at the age of 12 with my older sister. After having my sister she met my biological father and popped me out at the age of 14. I was a failure to thrive and my parents were unable to take care of me. So off I went to a foster home. When I was two and a half my foster parents adopted me. They were unable to have children of their own and already had two adopted kids when I joined their family. My older brother and sister. Shortly after adopting me they added one more to the gang. My little brother. Now both of my brothers and my sister were all half siblings. I was the only "odd" one. This didn't cause any problems though.
When I was 16 I met my future husband. I was dating my first boyfriend and he had invited me over to his friends house for a barbecue. Since I was busy that evening we ended up skyping each other. Kyle, my future husband was also there that evening. After my boyfriend left to watch a movie with all of the other guests, I stayed up all night getting to know Kyle. We quickly became best friends. We gave each other relationship advice, told our deepest secrets, and yes flirted. We were terrible together. Kyle would tell me steamy stories of what he would do to me if he had me alone and I would send him pictures of me with almost nothing on. We loved each other, but we were best friends.
Now my parents were very strict people. I wasn't allowed to hang out with guys (even my boyfriends), I couldn't go to sleepovers, etc. So when I started dating my second boyfriend he started slipping me out of the house at night so that we could actually spend time together. Now my parents were already upset with the way I was dressing. The rule was no shoulders showing, nothing above the knees, and it had to go all the way up to our collar bone. Well I decided to wear shorts, tank tops, and heels. When they found out that I was slipping out at night they were infuriated. More rules was my consequence. So I began to run away, but always gave up and went to the police station to get a ride home. My little brother was not living with us anymore. My parents had sent him to a group home at the age of twelve for talking back to my mom. On one of his visits home he sexually abused me. This tore me up, made me depressed and suicidal. I thought that maybe if I wrote what had happened down and hid it I would forget about it. But one day after running away my mom decided to go through all of my journals and papers and found the story of what had happened. This made me angry and want to run away more. One of the nights that I was with my boyfriend he had convinced me to give up my virginity. I told Kyle, who had lost his just days earlier. I was hoping that I would lose my virginity to him and I later found out that that was what he wanted too. Neither of us thought that we would go that far with each other though. So after he lost his I decided to lose mine. He was already angry with himself for losing his and took his anger out on me telling me he never wanted to talk to me again. That didn't stop me though. I would still text him every day and he would grudgingly text me back. After a while of running away my parents had finally had enough. So on July 27, 2009 I was woken up at four a.m. by two ex cops and escorted to a boarding school for troubled teens.
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